382 GRIPES and Griping Strong!



I had to do it! I had to create a blog so you and I could gripe about all of "The Crap" that we encounter everyday in our lives. Believe me, there is plenty! You can now come to this blog to Gripe because you have the right to do so. Over time, we will Gripe about topics ranging from sports to politics to just about all of the garbage that happens around us. When you Gripe, you can add your name or not. It's your right! You can vent any way you want. Use foul language if you are angry enough to and if you are offended, just Gripe It! Hell, we have been banned from Facebook twice! You can Gripe about people, places and things. The only thing I ask is if you are going to Gripe about someone and you use their name, make sure you have the facts straight or say it's your opinion. Otherwise they will sue your and my ass off! It's your RIGHT TO GRIPE! You can respond to one of our Gripes or you can lay down your own Gripe. It's easy. To post your own Gripe just email it to therighttogripe@hotmail.com and we will get it on. You can also post a Gripe on our Facebook page. Just search The Right To Gripe. If you don't want to write it down, just click on one of the boxes below each Gripe to give your opinion. You can also become an official "Griper". All you need to do is "Sign Up" and create an account. IT'S FREE! So, don't sit back and take it, just GRIPE IT!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong
I woke up this morning, clicked on my computer and went ape shit!  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  The USADA or U.S. Anit Doping Agency has stripped Lance Armstrong of his 7 Tour de France titles and banned him for life.  The bogus USADA has had a burr up their butts since 1999 when they started their investigation into the greatest cyclist of all time.  This group of Charlatans have finally broke Armstrong down after 13 years of unfounded accusations.  "There comes a point in every man's life when he has to say, 'Enough is enough.' For me, that time is now," Armstrong said. He called the USADA investigation an "unconstitutional witch hunt.""I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999," he said. "The toll this has taken on my family and my work for our foundation and on me leads me to where I am today finished with this nonsense."   The USADA has been accusing Lance of taking the blood booster EPO and steroids as well as blood transfusions to boost his performance since 1996.  Over the years Armstrong has denied these allegations as idiotic.  "USADA cannot assert control of a professional international sport and attempt to strip my seven Tour de France titles," Armstrong said. "I know who won those seven Tours, my teammates know who won those seven Tours, and everyone I competed against knows who won those seven Tours."  The USADA also alleges that they have written emails from Armstrong's former teammate Floyd Landis who was stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title for testing after a drug test.  Landis claims that the U.S. team had a very complex doping program. USADA also said it had 10 former Armstrong teammates ready to testify against him. Other than suggesting they include Landis and Tyler Hamilton, both of whom have admitted to doping offenses, the agency has refused to say who they are or specifically what they would say.

Now let me just say this about that.  The USADA has no power to just jump in and strip an athlete of his or her titles.  These international titles are governed by the International Cycling Union and the International Court of Arbitration of Sport.  Just because Lance Armstrong decided to for-go the sixteenth hundred appeal process he is guilty?  The 40-year-old Armstrong walked away from the sport in 2011 without being charged following a two-year federal criminal investigation into many of the same accusations he faces from USADA.  The Feds could not find enough evidence to send Armstrong to a trial.  Now all of a sudden the USADA has come up with enough evidence to ceremoniously strip him of his hard earned titles.  As you all know, Lance Armstrong fought and defeated cancer even after doctors gave his a 50% chance to live.  Even after beating this horrible disease he went on to win the Tour de France.  Armstrong is also known for the "Livestrong" plastic yellow wrist bracelets, which enabled him to enlist lawmakers and global policymakers to promote cancer awareness and research. His Lance Armstrong Foundation has raised nearly $500 million since its founding in 1997.

To sum it up, let this guy alone you moronic pinheads.  He is retired from cycling, beat cancer and is now raising awareness and money to battle the disease he defeated.  Over all the years he has competed he has never tested positive for any type of performance enhancing substance.  As far as I am concerned he is squeaky clean.  He is and will always be the greatest competitive cyclist to ever strap his feet onto the pedals.  To the USASA I say, "Drop muck you worthless piles of monkey dung".   



Thursday, August 23, 2012

Illegal Aliens (Part 3)

We have had some great responses to the Illegal Immigrant Gripes over the past few days.  First off I want to thank our Gripers for the intelligent responses that the have posted.  It is good to see that people are thinking and doing some research on this topic.  I want to respond to a few of these responses that I received yesterday.   I did refer to English as the "official language" of the U.S. in my Gripe.  As you stated, there is no official language of America on the books.  English is spoken the most throughout the nation but other languages are spoken as well.  You are also correct in stating that many states do have multiple "official" languages.   Louisiana offers many items in English and French while Hawaiian and English are the "official" languages of Hawaii.  There have been several proposals made to amend the constitution to make English the "official" language of the U.S. but all have failed.  As I did some research on English as the "official" language, I found some very interesting facts.

Fact:  Did you know that Spanish is the second most spoken language in the U.S.?  It is spoken by 12% of the total population.  The U.S. has the 5th largest Spanish speaking population in the world only outnumbered by Mexico, Spain, Argentina and Columbia.

Fact:  Hispanics do not make up the largest ethnic group in America.  That distinction belongs to the Germans.  They make up the largest ethnic ancestry in the U.S.  However, German ranks 5th in language spoken.   ( I guess they learned to speak English)

Fact:  Approximately 337 languages are spoken or signed by the population, of which 176 are indigenous to the area. 52 languages formerly spoken in the country's territory are now extinct.

Fact:  Over one million people int he U.S. speak Tagalog or Vietnamese.

Fact:  China has 50 official languages.

Fact:  The vast majority of Americans do not speak a second language.

After looking at all of the facts, I conclude that if only 12% of the population speaks Spanish then we do not need signs in Spanish.  If that % gets to 40% or 50% then I say put up the signs.  As for us Americans, we are pompous slobs who think the rest of the world should comply with our demands.  Many of us do not speak another language and I think that stinks!  We try to teach our children a second language when they enter high school which is way too late.  We offer them French and Spanish in most schools.  Whatever happened to Latin and German?  How about Chinese, Russian or Arabic?  If we want our people to be bi or multi lingual we need to start teaching kids another language in grade school.  That's when they can absorb it like a sponge.  Hell, teenagers don't give a flying you know what about another language and that is a shame.     


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Illegal Alien's (Part 2)

I had a response to my last Gripe on illegal alien's by an anonymous Griper which made me think a bit more on this subject.  Many of you think that the R2G is only a place to vent your anger on, however it is also meant to make you think and debate topics of interest.   Here is that response followed by the R2G response.

ANONYMOUS:  I agree with much of what you wrote, but at the end, you need to be a little clear on facts. The time of many of our grandparents, coming to the U.S. was as simple as going through Elis Island. There were no passports, visas or sponsors required. What many claim was the right way wasn't really what people think it was.  As far as speaking English. The United States has two states where English is not the native language, plus many territories and of course Nordeast Pennsylvania. These people ARE citizens of the United States. So, do we simply ignore their heritage and/or needs?  Additionally, the press 1, 2, or 3 or literature in other languages is simply smart business. Why should any business owner limit their potential customers to those who only speak English. Are you that fat and lazy you can't press 1?  Larger cities are tourist attractions, even the Poconos get international travelers.

It is true that many moons ago when our grandparents came to America they did not need the mountains of paperwork that is now required.  They also did not have to pay a bucket full of money or have a sponsor to get into the country either.  They came to America with hopes and dreams as many do even today.  However, as anonymous stated they came through Ellis Island which was the correct thing to do at the time.  The current illegals are being trucked in, tunneled in or running in from everywhere and anywhere.  They are not doing it the right way!  If we let our borders wide open to anyone who wanted to come in, our population would be 10 times what it is now.  The government has put rules and laws in place that govern how people become citizens for a reason.  It has checks and balances in place so not every Tom, Dick and Jose can become a citizen.  It also slows down the flow of people coming in so we are not way overpopulated. 

As for the English part, I remember my grandfather who was from Poland saying to my grandmother, "You are in America now, speak English".  He was an American and proud of it.  He thought that part of being a citizen of the U.S. was to speak the official language.  I can tell you I cannot remember ever hearing him speak Polish.  His English was somewhat broken, but it was English.  As for the two states where English is not the native language, I can only guess that those two states are Hawaii and Alaska.  I may throw Louisiana in there because they do speak a lot of French.  However, native language and official language are two different things.  My grandfathers native language was Polish, but America's official language is English.

I do agree with Anonymous on his or her point concerning businesses having multi-lingual telephone systems.  Yes it is good business.  However, the Lowes store in Edwardsville, Pa does not need all their signs in English and Spanish.  Hell, in Edwardsville it should be English and Hennabonics if anything.  A store chain like Lowes recognizes that the majority of people coming into the U.S. speak Spanish and prefer to speak their "native" language.  I still believe that if you come to America, speak English.  If I were to relocate to Paris, I would learn to speak French and pretty fast.  I would most likely speak English in my home, but would adapt to my outside surroundings.

I guess the bottom line here is that people are coming into the U.S. illegally and taking jobs.  The key word here is "illegally".  Business owners are hiring them, "illegally", paying them under the table "illegally"and raking in more profits "illegally".  I think I see a trend here.  IT'S FREAKIN' ILLEGAL!       

Monday, August 20, 2012

Illegal Aliens

This morning I was sifting through Facebook and noticed one of our Gripers Phil S. posed a question which brought a bucket full of responses.  I thought, "Hey, let's throw this up on the R2G to see what happens.  The question was a simple one.  Should illegal aliens get or have the same rights and benefits as legal U.S. citizens?  Most people responded with no, they should not.  They stated that they are "illegal" and deserve nothing.  However there was one guy who responded with the illegals are performing the low end jobs that U.S. citizens don't want.  He went on to wonder if any economic studies have been done to see if the illegals take a lower wage will the cost of the work or the products that they produce be passed on to the consumer at a lower rate?  As the debate raged on, I sat back and wondered what I actually think of this topic.  Well, it didn't take very long for me to make up my ind.

In my opinion illegal aliens should get no benefits, period.  No unemployment compensation, no workman's compensation and no welfare.  As for rights, they are human beings and they should have the rights of any air breathing hominid.  I can tell you, there are illegal aliens out there actually collecting workman's comp for getting injured on the job.  Yes, it's true and our wonderful legal system has approved it.  Can you believe it!  A Nebraska Appeals Court late last year decided that an illegal alien who was hurt while working in a meat plant should get workers' compensation benefits, according to an article in the Lincoln Journal Star.  The worker, Odilon Visoso, who used the name Adam Rodriguez, had the misfortune of having a "100-pound slab of meat fall from a hook and hit the back of his head, neck and shoulder," according to the Journal Star. Later the company fired him for being an illegal alien, but the workers‘ comp case remained alive and well even after he was fired.  Visoso's lawyer, Ryan Holsten, was the one who raised the key public policy issue as he argued for his client. He said that disqualifying illegal immigrants from these benefits would encourage employers to hire more illegal aliens, because it would reduce their insurance costs if no benefits were paid to injured illegals. The judge agreed.  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  The judge agreed.

Believe it or not, employers are legally responsible to pay Social Security and unemployment insurance charges for illegal aliens.  The law states that if these benefits are paid by the employer, the illegal alien worker is entitled to use them.  Now lets come back from Uranus and land back here on Earth.  No employer who hires illegal aliens is paying these benefits.  They are paying these people to work like dogs at below minimum wage.  They pay less wages and pocket the extra profits for themselves.  What it comes down to is these greedy bastards are hiring these people so they can make more money.  I think any company that employ's illegal aliens should be shut down and fined out the ying yang.  The hiring of illegal aliens is one of the reasons unemployment across the nation has skyrocketed.  I say if you want to come to America, do it the right way like many of our grandparents did.  Also, if you come to this country, learn to speak English.  I am sick and tired of seeing everything in other languages like Spanish.  If you are here illegally and you refuse to learn English, GET THE HELL OUT!  What do you think?      

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

An Alive Guy Floating Dead

Joseph DeAngelo sleeping in the river
I'm sure by now many of you have heard the story about the dead guy floating in the Susquehanna River who suddenly came to life.  If you haven't, here is what happened.  The Williamsport authorities were called to the river by a report of a dead body.  When they arrived, sure enough there was a body floating about 5 to 6 feet off the shore in the shallow water.  Police summoned the coroner to the river bank where they stood for some time formulating a game plan for the extraction.  As onlookers gathered and the authorities got ready to recover the dead body, a dragon fly lands on the nose of the man and BAM......HE SITS UP!  A miracle many thought.  How can this be?  He was floating there stone dead, no movement what-so-ever.  The coroner was about to fish out the dead carcass.  What is going on here?  This part of the mighty Susquehanna River has been known for it's drownings over the years.

It appears that Joseph DeAngelo was floating in the river and simply fell asleep.  “I was out like a light, it was comfortable,” said DeAngelo.  “It was like laying on a cloud. I looked up at the clouds and I was laying on a cloud, and it was a wonderful thing”.  Williamsport Police Captain Michael Orwig stated, “I said it’s a miracle. It’s great!”  Oh, it's great all right.  It's so good that it made Yahoo's Comedy page on their web site Broken News Daily.  Once again NEPA makes total idiots out of themselves.  Here they thought and I say thought a guy had drowned in the river but sits up after a dragonfly lands on his nose.  Didn't anyone think about wading out to see if this guy was actually dead?  NO, why would the cops do that.  Why would the people who reported it do that?  Instead they call the coroner assuming DeAngelo was dead.  The coroner didn't even wade out to check.  All I have to say is what are the first three letters of the word assume?  You got it, ASS!  And let me tell you the powers to be at all levels of government and authority here in NEPA are great making an ass out of themselves and our area.     


Friday, August 10, 2012

SWB Yankees Getting A New Name

Some months ago, the new management for our Scranton / Wilkes-Barre Yankees decided that the team needed a new name.  The powers to be came up with the idea that they should have a contest to see what names their fans could come up with.  The winner would get 2012-2013 season tickets along with some other prizes for coming up with the winner.  Now both you and I know that you should never put this type of decision into the hands of the people of Northeast Pa because all they will do is screw it up.  The masses are idiots and they could "F" up a one car funeral.  Of course, the management team up there in Moosic are not from this area so they thought they had a winning idea!  Let's get the people involved and maybe they will come to watch a game now and then  Well, let me just say.....LOSER!  Here are the 6 finalists of names that the nitwits of the area came up with and the reason they were picked.

The Blast combines the over-the-top fun of MiLB with the tough miners who unearth coal to fuel America's industrial revolution. It's also the sound of the Yankees of tomorrow blasting home runs in front of a packed house at PNC Field.

Black Diamond Bears
Paying homage of the rich coal mining history of the SWB area combined with the ferociousness of the black bear, no one will want to mess with them on the field. The natural setting of PNC Field will be the perfect den for the Black Diamond Bears.

Watch the Fireflies light up the night sky at PNC Field in 2013. The state insect of Pennsylvania is a sure sign of summer time in NEPA. Families will have a glowing good time at the ballpark!

Rail Riders
All aboard! We’re not just blowing steam with this one. The SWB express isn’t your ordinary ride on the rails. We’ll be charting our own course as we speed our way into the minds and hearts of NEPA baseball fans. Kids can join the Lil’ Conductors Club or you can shop for your favorite team gear at the Station.

This tough as “Quills” animal is a renegade native to Northeast Pennsylvania. The fighting, resilient spirit of the porcupine is the same spirit indicative to our area. With Pulled Porky-Pine Sandwiches, fans are sure enjoy the fun, creative nature that only Minor League Baseball can bring to the community.

Trolley Frogs
Known as the "Electric City," Scranton is home of America's very first electric trolley car. A trolley frog is not only a mechanical part of a trolley, it takes us into a creative world of frogs, lily pads and snapping tongues.

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  These may be the most idiotic names I have ever seen.  We might as well call them the SWB Zipper Heads.  I can't believe that the fans along with SWB management could not come up with better names.  This is a joke, right?  Wrongo beaver breath.  It is legit.  It is the real deal.  What were they thinking when they narrowed it down to these 6 ridiculous names?  They were not thinking and that is what the people of NEPA do best.  Hell, I could come up with 6 better names and I think I will right now.

The Highlanders
This is the name that I submitted.  Back in the early 1900's, the New York Yankees were called the New York Highlanders.  This name ties the team to the big Yankees but does not carry the actual name.  This is something that Yankee's franchise wanted to accomplish.  It also ties the history and tradition of the Yankee's teams to it's minor league affiliate.  

The Road Rage
Our area is very well known for its episodes of road rage.  You could do a lot with this one especially with the logo on the hats and uniforms.  Hell, the team are already carrying bats around.

The Poachers
Our area is also well known for people hunting game out of season.  If you are a hunter like I am, you know this to be fact.  People are arrested at least a half dozen times a year for poaching deer and bear out of season.

The Guzzlers
This one really sums it up.  Us folk here in NEPA can really drink beer.  

The Drug Kings
Both Wilkes-Barre and Scranton are being over run by drug dealers so this name would fit.  Drug dealers are being arrested at least 2 to 3 times a month.  They wait 3 and 4 deep in New York and Philadelphia for their chance to come here to peddle their garbage to the nimrods of our area.


The Susquehanna Slippery Nipples
I like this simply because it sounds good.

There you have it, 6 names that didn't make the lame list.  I guess if I have to go with one of the actual final 6, I would go with the Trolley Frogs.  It has a ring to it and it falls in line with other minor league team names like Mud Hens, lake Monsters, Iron Pigs and Sand Gnats.  Of course, I'm sure it will get screwed up and they will pick Blast.  Hell, it sounds like a youth soccer team to me.  The big decision comes in November.  We can have a good laugh going into the holiday season.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Gripe Shots

For some apparent reason I woke up this morning (Saturday) at 5:45 am and could not fall back asleep.  Here it is a Saturday morning and I really don't have to arise at any specific time like during the work week.  Doesn't it figure?  Of course it does!  I don't have to get up, but I do!  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  Instead of being deep into a dreamland coma, I laid there thinking about all of the crap that I encountered pover this past week.  All of this thinking led me to grab a stool and belly up to the bar of Gripe.  What'll you have asked the Gripe-tender.  I will have a few shots, a few shots of Gripe.  Belly up people, it's time to light them up and slam down a few Gripe Shots.

Well, Luzerne County screwed up again.  The nimrods over inside the slob-ma-hall on River Street sent a jury duty summons to a 12 year old boy.  Swoyersville resident Connor Smith received the summons in the mail the other day which he opened in excitement.  He thought maybe he would be assigned to the high profile Hugo Seilinski trial, which may last several weeks.  The R2G will be all over this circus with daily updates.  Of course, you must be at least 18 years old to serve on a jury which means Smith will have to start school on time.  Don Tedesco, jury supervisor said that there was a glitch in the data supplied by the state.  Sure, blame the state.  He also stated that the county does not have filters to weed out the juveniles.  That does not surprise me since all of their "filters" are being used to siphon money from "We The People" and into their pockets.

Shame on The Times Leader!  Who in the hell decided to write a story about that idiot Bob Kadluboski?  To top it off they put it on the front page!  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  This guy is a total buffoon, a moron, a knucklehead and a goof all wrapped up in a total package of idiot-ism.  In case you have been sleeping under a rock for the past 10 years, Kadluboski is the owner of City Wide Towing and a self proclaimed pistol packing avenger.  He rides around the city all day with his 1970's sunglasses on looking to thwart crime at every turn.  He also shows up a city meetings to harass Mayor Leighton and the WB Council members.  He has a beef with everything.  I guess you have to be a total stooge or a murderer to make the front page.

We are one week into the Summer Olympic Games from London and already I can't take anymore.  During their prime time coverage, NBC has blown our skulls wide open with way too many commercials.  They show an event and then 6 commercials.  Another event and then more commercials.  A human interest piece and then a bevy of commercials.  There are more commercials being shown then actual Olympic events.  In fact, the total length of the commercials is actually longer than many of the events especially the swimming events.  I know NBC paid a boat load of money to televise these games, but c'mon you are killing our brain matter with all of these commercials.  If

Finally, the family of former Penn State head football coach "Big Nose" Joe Paterno plans on appealing the sanctions that the NCAA imposed on the school and it's football program.  Wick Sollers, attorney for Paterno's family, said the sanctions caused "enormous damage" to Penn State, students, athletes and Paterno.  Of coursed they did you morons!  They were meant to cause damage due to the cover up of Jerry Scumdusky back dooring young boys in the shower rooms.  The Paterno family needs to just SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO AWAY!  First off, the sanctions are not up for appeal according to NCAA Spokesman Bob Williams.  Second, if Penn State did not comply with the sanctions, they would have been dealt the "Death Penalty" for 4 years.  This option would have doomed their football program for many, many years.  What doesn't the Paterno family get?  They are trying to hang on to a legacy that has been blown apart by a scandal of epic proportions.  "Big Nose" Paterno has been cast from his throne on Mount Nittany and tossed into the abyss of shame.  The Paterno family needs to come to grips with the facts that the PSU carnival ride has come to a stop.  At this point they need to just close their shades, lock the doors and hide in shame.

There you have it, an entire sampler of Gripe.  It's not as tasty as the Saki sampler out at Asaki in Dallas but oh so good.               .

Friday, August 3, 2012

Gripers Respond To Womens Delusional Thinking

Yesterday I hung my you know what into the wind and wrote about a post that I saw on Facebook.  This post lead me to write about the delusional thinking of some women especially when they think they are "In Love".  I knew this was going to cause some controversy and boy was I right.  Here is what was posted on Facebook.

Bob "The Nature Boy":  These women live in fantasy land .  And I will add to this later when I have some time.

Lisa M AKA My Wife.:  And so will I. And the R2G may be in jeopardy. We will see who has delusional thinking when Jim's lap top is in a million pieces.

Jackie G:  Hahaha Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe F:  Ouch lol  (Who by the way is in love)

Cheri S:  WOW!  Who the hell WANTS the remote control OR a man who sits around watching TV?  What kind of a loser is a nag or would listen to one? They must deserve each other!  I hate followers….wouldn’t want one and would NEVER be one!  Both men and woman get to have booze night! (PS NEVER get involved with a woman who can’t party like a rock star! She’ll just bore you to death…..)
Real men NEVER say they are sorry because real women are confident enough to want men who do just as they please and own it!

Rebecca F:  HAHAHA LISA ....I Think Even Craig would think twice about posting something like this ...Jim WTF were you thinking?????

Bob "The Nature Boy":  Well I have a few things to say here 1 ) right away destruction comes from having no defense 2) I would never follow 3) booze night is a necessity , just to keep your sanity , and you really need to party like a rock star 4) really men say there sorry when needed , and really men can shed a tear , and real men actually care ..... More to Come but I have to go.

Bob "The Nature Boy": I will leave with this .... If any woman dated a " man " like the original 10 that started this ... She would be nuts and he would be a feeble , weasel , looser .... Or just a sponge !

Tim "Pa Juggalo":  For what its worth I've learned the key to actually winning an argument with a woman is to say "You're right dear let's not argue about this." Women love to argue and never shut up so if you say that right at the beginning they are confused and don't know what to do. So then they get mad and try to argue more and you just keep saying No hunny you're right. And then they scream at you and the next day she owes you some horizontal humping because she screamed at you and feels terrible when you were doing nothing but trying to stop the argument. Then she still feels bad so she goes and gets you some beer. Use their love of arguing against them.

The R2G Washington Connection:  I didn't want another little brother anyway....good gripe!  ( This came from deep inside the bowels of Washington.  You had to figure something would be blacked out.)  We cannot divulge the identity of our connection.

Marty M.:  Right on Jim!!!!!!!!

The Drake:  The person who originated the 1 st top 10 is either huffing gasoline or munching on Bath Salts!!!'

There you have it, responses from our Gripers.  It appears that most of the men are in total agreement with my responses while the women are either angry or just amazed that I actually posted this.  Just for the record, my wife is still contemplating the destruction of my laptop.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Delusional Thinking Of Women

I was on Facebook this morning and ran across this post from a good friend who happens to be my sister-in-law.  To me this post summed up the delusional thinking of a woman in love. 
Now after reading this, then dropping to the floor in laughter, I picked myself back up and got to thinking.  As most of you know, my thinking usually gets me in some kind of hot water and this will be no different.  I thought, how wrong is this little Top 10?  After about 6 seconds of pondering or the time it took me to read this tripe I knew it was about 100% wrong.  Immediately I wanted to get to the bottom of this farce and set the record straight for all those boys who want to become men.  Here is the real Top 10 Boys become men when they...

1.  Lead the way and walk out first.  If she follows then she is a keeper. 
2.  Don't call back when she hangs up, put on the game that you wanted to watch and crack open a cold one.  Again, if she calls back then she is a keeper. 
3.  When she punches you just look at her and say, "One of these days, One of these days, Bang, Zoom Right to the Moon.  Why is she punching you anyway?  Doesn't she realize that it would be a TKO in the first 10 seconds.
4.  I may have to agree with 4 because it may be the only way to make her shut her spewing pie hole.
5.  It's OK to watch a chick flick now and then, but only after she has watched at least 3 action films, 2 Sci-Fi's and a horror film before hand.  One Star Trek film and a 3 Stooges marathon can substitute for this formula.  Never actually go to the theater to watch a chick flick.  There you are trapped in a fantasy realm which lies between two dimensions.   The dimension of sleep and the dimension of terror. 
6.  Yes, we can tolerate her crying over love stories because this is a sure fire opening to some crib time.  Console her during the film.  If you are good enough, you may force out a tear which scores huge points toward the bedroom.  Always remember, a good love story fogs the minds of women everywhere.
7.  Hand the woman the remote?  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  You might as well put a gun to your head and pull the trigger.  Don't ever make this mistake because you will end up watching a chick flick, a cooking show or the most dreaded show of all, Project Runway.
8.  I really get a charge out of this one.  Pass on booze night to listen to her rantings?  Her rantings are the sole reason for booze night.
9.   How could you not flare up after your woman has given you car directions for the past 2 hours of a trip.  As she is yapping from the passenger seat the thought of reaching over, opening the door and giving her a quick kick is repeating in your brain like an S.O.S.  If she only knew how to tuck and roll better.
10.  I have said I am sorry plenty of times in the 18 years that i have been married.  This word is magical.  I'm sorry I got hammered up last night.  I'm sorry I stayed out so late.  I'm sorry I forgot to take out the trash.  I'm sorry I forgot to tell you that I am in a golf tournament.  I'm sorry I forgot to tell you that I am bowling tomorrow night.  I'm sorry, didn't I tell you that I am fishing all day on Saturday.  The I'm sorry's go on and on and on.  Boys, learn the word and embrace it like a lover.  It is the most important word that you will ever know except for the words cold beer.

There it is, the real Top 10 way's that boys become men.  Hopefully, my wife will not read this because I will be embracing the word sorry along with a big dinner bill and a chick flick.