First off let me thank everyone for visiting The Right To Gripe over 1000 times. To celebrate our 1000th hit, I have put together several Gripes that friends have been passing my way for the past 2 weeks. I, of course will toss up a few of my own because I am boiling inside because of the stupidity that surrounds me. We will Gripe 10 times on this one in celebration. So put on your hats and let's sit back and throw down some GRIPE SHOTS.
1. If you have been watching the MLB playoffs on TBS, you have had the big orange Conan blimp stuffed down your throat. I Griped about this guy a few months ago and I still say he stinks. Every time I see this blimp on TV I get thoughts of the Hindenburg going up in flames. I want to tie Conan in the passenger seat and light a match. Every time I see the color orange now I want to puke! In fact, every time I see Conan I want to "Sell The Buick". He is one ugly MF'er.
2. Speaking of the baseball playoffs, what the hell is field announcer Craig Sager wearing during the games. Last night he had a purple velvet suit on with a purple shit and purple striped tie. It was like Barney giving us useless tidbits on the game. The always flamboyant Sager can be seen in HD technicolor wearing bright yellows, pinks and a blues. When they say they are going to Craig Sager I get my sunglasses on and my puke bucket close to my side.
3. While we are on the topic of bright colors, have you seen that Kingston Boro has their Christmas lights up on Wyoming Ave and THEY ARE LIT! What the hell is going on here! It's not even Halloween yet! I can see putting them up in good weather, but shit, don't light them. Every time I drive down the have I want to sing Christmas Carols.
4. The other night I went to McDonalds to order food for the family because frankly, we were just too lazy to fire up the stove and cook. As customary, I drove up to the drive through signs and placed my order, in clear English and moved up to pay. As I pulled forward I thought to myself, there is no way this nitwit that took my simple order is going to get it right. Of course, it's not hard because they have simplified ordering food with value meal numbers. You give them a number, say medium or large and what you want to drink. Well, I got my food, drove all the way home and guess what? The "frekin" order was wrong! How can they be so stupid! Its numbers, medium or large and a drink! These morons get it wrong about 70% of the time. It's not brain surgery or rocket science.
5. While I am on the topic of getting something and driving home, my son wanted me to post this Gripe for him. We will often go to Blockbuster Video to rent a movie or a video game. Blockbuster or as I call it Jockblaster has cornered the market on rentals by putting the local video stores out of business. Anyway, we got home with his video game and...you got it, it didn't work! There were so many scratches on it he couldn't even play it. This drives me out of my mind! Now I have to get back in the car and drive to Jockblaster to get another one. What really sucks is when you go back and all the other copies of what you want are rented out. It makes me go insane. I want to grab the clerk by the throat and squeeze. Why don't they check the disc to make sure it is OK? IDIOTS!
6. Moving forward on the topic of IDIOTS.....all I have to say is Sarah Palin.
7. The Post Office....IDIOTS, MORONS and CHOWDER HEADS! What else do I have to say?
8. Let me tell you about something that really "Grinds My Gears" as Peter Griffin would say. Cash only establishments. I don't carry a ton of cash and use my ATM card wherever I go. I hate when I go to one of these cash only dumps, place an order and then find out I can't use my card. My head explodes off my shoulders! I then have to find the nearest MAC Machine, withdraw cash and go back. A few of these cash only places are Abes Hot Dogs, Sabitini's Pizza, Pizza Perfect, Carvel, Ranch Wagon and Sprinkles Ice Cream. Now don't get me wrong, I love all of these places, but holy crap let's get into the 20th century.
9. I had the opportunity to drive out to Pittsburgh last week. What a great city. I had a great ride out and a great ride back. I did not have any road rage what-so-ever until I got on the Cross Valley Expressway between Wilkes-Barre and Forty Fort. I imploded 3 times in that short stretch due to the ineptitude of the drivers in NEPA. I had not spewed one profanity driving to and from Pittsburgh until I hit what I call "The Stretch of Stupidity". Why can't the people of Wyoming Valley drive on this road? They slow down to a snails pace and then are afraid to pull out into traffic. Of course, the ignorant bastards won't let you into traffic or onto the exit.
10. And finally, let me throw out a big FU to all those computer hackers out there that get their kicks out of sending viruses to people. If I could get a hold of these pieces of shit I would chop their hands off. They have cost myself and others more money to get our computers cleaned out. The government should pass a law that sentences these shitheads to the electric chair. For the life of me, I can't understand why they do it. Sometimes I wonder if its the computer companies doing it so we have to keep buying new computers or fixing our old ones. Whoever you are........FU TO YOU!
There it is, 10 GRIPE SHOTS to get you drunk with anger. If you have a Gripe, just send it over and I will get it on. If you like The GRIPE, tell you friends, they will love you for it. If you have ideas for The GRIPE, let me know. Always remember, you have THE RIGHT TO GRIPE!
Congrats on 1000 hits!!!
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