After all the bogus TV commercials, all the nauseating radio commercials and all the eye wrenching signs, it is finally election day. Or should I say thank god it's election day. All the newspapers and talk radio show hosts have given their weak and spineless endorsements to their favorite candidates and now it is time for the real thing. Here are the "Gripedorsments for the major races.
The candidates for Pennsylvania Governor are Republican Tom Corbet and Democrat Dan Onorato. Corbet claims he is going to scale back spending and put and end to perks. Good freakin' luck with that. Perks in Pennsylvania government have been going on since Ben Franklin. Anybody who says he is going to stop this kind of stuff is delusional. As for cutting spending, how much more can we cut? This ploy sounds like a restructuring of government which means lost jobs, increased health care and wage freezes. I'm sure he won't cut the Governors pay. As for Dan Onorato, he touts his experience in government and his savvy around Harrisburg. Onorato feels that tax payers are overburdened, small businesses are over taxed and the state infrastructure is in a shambles. One thing I can tell you is my ass is sore from getting bent over the tax barrel and the Pierce St Bridge is like Berlin after a week of carpet bombing.
Gripedorsment: Both candidates bring different skills to the table. However, I like the name Onorato because it sounds like Ontario. I always caught a lot of fish in the Ontario area so I am for Onorato. I like saying his name over and over....Onorato, Onorato, Onorato.
U.S. Senator 10th District
The Democrats bring Joe Sestack to the table while the Republicans belly up with Pat Toomey. Pummeling Pat wants to totally dismantle the new Health Care Reform Law while Sestack maintains his experience as a Congressman makes him the better candidate. In case you don't know, this Senate seat was held for a millennium by Arlen "Traveling Bullet" Spector.
Gripedorsment: Nobody really seems to know much about these two jug heads. So with that in mind, I am going with Sestack. The only reason I like this guy is again, his name. It sounds like Slestacks. If you don't know what a Slestack is, you should be pistol whipped. The Slestacks were the evil reptilian aliens on the 1970's TV show Land Of The Lost.
US Representative 10th District
This is the big one. In the red corner, wearing the bright red trunks and sporting the Polish Falcon, Democrat Paul "Kanjo" Kanjorski. In the blue corner, wearing the black trunks with the skull and cross bones, Republican Lou "Let's Run Those Illegal Aliens Out Of Town" Barletta. This battle has been a slug fest right from the start. Luscious Lou is making his 3rd attempt at this office and is currently 0-2. Barletta is best known for milking the city of Hazleton dry with his attempts to round up and deport anybody that isn't white with blond hair and blue eyes. While he concentrates on his crusade, Hazleton is going into the shitter. As for Paul Kanjorski, he is a long term Congressman who has been implicated in some circles of funneling government money to his relatives. Let's never forget his nephews failed efforts with the rubber pulverizing business. However, Kanjo was partially responsible for getting the funding for the River Levy Project. Speaking of the river, the Nanticoke Flash wanted to build an inflatable dam across the filthy Susquetucky River for recreation.
Gripedorsment: "Kanjo" He has tenure in Washington and can funnel money to NEPA. I just hope he can funnel some cash my way. Kanjo has all the connections and knows all the right people. Hell, "Wild" Bill Clinton came to the thriving metropolis of Nanticoke to campaign for Paul. As for Lou, he is just plain freakin' crazy. A mad man! Bill Clinton didn't come to Hazleton. If Bill is for Kanjo, so am I.
Finally, the big question, should Luzerne County dump the 3 Commissioner system and go to Home Rule. I am not going to go into all of the particulars because it would take way too long. The Times Leader did a great explanation a few Sunday's ago in their Sunday paper. I read this breakdown, fell asleep between the 3rd and 5th paragraph, woke back up, did a few shots of Jamison and finished my research. In my opinion, lets shit can the 3 stooges, 'In The Can" Mary Ann, Steve Urban "Legend" and the third guy. No one really knows who he is. I think it is Curley...or is it Shemp...or is it Curley Joe? I don't know. I do know that the current system has failed. I say we put 12 knuckleheads in to muck it up more. Hell, why not.
There it is. Who knows which candidate is really the right one? All they do is bash the krap out of each other instead of giving us a real plan. I do know you should go out and vote on Tuesday. If you cast your vote, then you have The Right To Gripe about the people in office.
House of Kroy tour - *...sans the basement and garage.*
5 months ago