TOP 10 REASONS NOT TO GO TO PLYMOUTH

Reason #10 - They Still Have Their Christmas Lights Up
Reason #9 - More Red Lights Than The Law Allows
Reason #8 - Coalbillies
Reason #7 - Even The Laundromat Closed

Reason #6 - Main Street Mama's

When driving through the town of Plymouth, you will most likely be exposed to one of the most horrible things known to the eyes of humanity. This creature is so vile and so hideous that most humans will turn to stone at just the sight of it. No, its not the Medusa of Greek mythology. It is the infamous Main Street Mama. The Main Street Mama or MAM for short can be seen roaming the Main Street of Plymouth dressed is atrocious attire such as halter tops, short shorts and worn out flip flops. Now to the casual observer, this may sound pretty good. However, the MAM usually tips the scales at 200 pounds plus. A creature of this magnitude should never be dressed in a halter top and short shorts. To top it off, the MAM is usually without a breast support devise (a.k.a. a bra) and teeth which makes this misfit of nature even more terrifying. This is the factor which makes a man turn to stone once he gazes upon the MAM. Make no mistake, when driving through Plymouth, make sure you keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel. If you deviate your line of vision to one of these MAM's, you will never be the same again.

Tomorrow, Reason #5 Not To Go To Plymouth.