TOP 10 REASONS NOT TO GO TO PLYMOUTH

Reason #10 - They Still Have Their Christmas Lights Up
Reason #9 - More Red Lights Than The Law Allows
Reason #8 - Coalbillies
Reason #7 - Even The Laundromat Closed
Reason #6 - Main Street Mama's
Reason #5 - WVW High School, what a dump!
Reason #4 - Time Warp
Reason #3 - Dive Bars

Reason #2 - Plymouth's Outstanding Cuisine

It's been a long haul as we approach the #1 Reason Not To Go To Plymouth. I was torn when I got down to the Top 2 Reasons and had to consult Funk and Wagnels in the pickle jar on the back porch. Even that did not help me. This morning I drove down Main Street to see if something jumped out at me and boy did it ever. No, it was not a Main Street Mama or a Coalbilly. It was a sign that said, Mothers Day Buffet This Sunday. So, what is so special about that? It struck a chord with me because the sign was hung up at Happy Pizza. I immediately thought that without a doubt the #2 Reason Not To Go To Plymouth is the Cuisine. Whoever heard of a Mothers Day Brunch at a pizza place? Only in Plymouth! I immediately went home and informed my wife that we will be going there on Mothers Day and that I better call to make the reservation today! NOT! I would expect that this brunch will be packed to the gills with Coalbillies stuffing their faces with pizza, wings and stromboli. You can see it now, faces covered in wing sauce. Shirts stained with pizza droppings. It is one for the ages! Again, only in Plymouth.

Speaking of cuisine, Plymouth is the home town of one of the gassiest, fat filled, artery clogging festivals known to mankind. Yep, the infamous Kielbasa Festival. Every year, throngs of people flock to this god forsaken land to pack their pie holes with kielbasa of all kinds. There is smoked, fresh, beer and cheese kielbasa which will be washed down with a tall cold Keystone Lite. They even have kielbasa on a stick. Don't get me wrong, I love kielbasa, but I wouldn't have a festival for it. In case you don't know, here are the nutritional or should I say lack of nutritional facts about kielbasa. These are the numbers in one link or 75 grams of this glorious meat.

Calories....... 232
Total Fat...... 20 g's
Cholesterol.... 49 mg's
Sodium......... 678 mg's
Vitamin A...... 0%
Vitamin C...... 0%
Calcium........ 1%
Iron........... 3%

Clearly a heart attack ready to happen. Along with a 6 pack of Keystone Light or Bud, a cerebral hemorrhage is surely in the future. So, if you are thinking of packing the family up to go out for a meal, DO NOT GO TO PLYMOUTH!

Tomorrow, the #1 Reason Not To Go To Plymouth.