TOP 10 REASONS NOT TO GO TO PLYMOUTH

Reason #10 - They Still Have Their Christmas Lights Up
Reason #9 - More Red Lights Than The Law Allows
Reason #8 - Coalbillies
Reason #7 - Even The Laundromat Closed
Reason #6 - Main Street Mama's
Reason #5 - WVW High School, what a dump!
Reason #4 - Time Warp
Reason #3 - Dive Bars
Reason #2 - Plymouth's Outstanding Cuisine

THE #1 REASON NOT TO GO TO PLYMOUTH

It's The Home Of Hennabonics

It took some time but we are down to the #1 Reason Not To Go To Plymouth. You have been waiting on pins and needles to see what was on top and believe me its not a Main Street Mama. The #1 Reason Not To Go To Plymouth is because it is the home of Hennabonics. If you are not familiar with Hennabonics, it is the butchering of the English language by the Coalbillies of NEPA. Words like Dis, Dat, Dose, Dem and of course henna are used instead of the real words of this, that, those, them and isn't it. The slack jawed, heavy tongued Coalbillies can't pronounce the letter T so they substitute the letter D instead. As far as I can tell, Plymouth or Plimmit (Thanks Stephen Albert) is the home where Hennabonics originated. It started here because the letter T required front teeth and the Coalbillies of Plymouth had none. They substituted the letter D because it only requires you to press your tongue on your upper pallet for pronunciation. Go ahead, try them both and you will see I am correct.

With the creation of Hennabonics came the great migration of 1822 when the Coalbillies of Plymouth branched out and later settled in Edwardsville and the hills of Larksville. This was the first expansion of Hennabonics. In 1894, the Coalbillies of Plymouth discovered the use of tools (many years after the Neanderthal) which helped them to carve out primitive canoes to cross the Susquehanna River. This event was called Dat Der Crossin. Not to be confused with Frank Crosin. With the crossing of the river, Hennabonics quickly spread over the Northeastern part of Pennsylvania and the rest is history. If you would really like an education on Hennabonics, go to YouTube and search Hennabonics. This short video will give you all you need if you ever have a reason to go to Plymouth. Of course, I would recommend that you just stay clear. You may end up like Dis here slack jawed caveman wit out dem dere teet....henna!