SPECIAL EDITION - We Finally Got That Bastard

Last night my phone rang at about 10pm and it was one of my R2G operatives who said, "Turn on CNN the President is going to make a big announcement. Now, I was in the middle of watching a movie and of course was skeptical. I shouldn't have been because my operatives are always right when they give me information. I got to CNN and Wolfman Blitzer was on with that wild look on his face claiming the President would be on in about 30 minutes with a big announcement. Only 2 times in modern day history had a President made an announcement after 10pm EST. I knew this had to be big. Well, by now we all know it was huge! It was the biggest announcement in 10 years. Osama Bin Laden was dead! Finally we got that bastard!

Now you may want to know, what type of Gripe can I throw down on this one? This is the best news this country has heard since Bonzo Reagan took all the credit for the release of the hostages in Iran. This news is the ointment that will heal our wounds from the 911 massacre which was orchestrated by this mass murdering scum sucking son of a bitchin bastard. Well, I actually have only 2 small Gripes and here they are.

1. To the country of Pakistan I say FUCK YOU! No one can tell me that these Pakistani mud puppies didn't know that Bin Laden was holding up in a million dollar fortified compound right outside of their capitol city of Islamabad. I say they knew and they boned us hard. How could they not know? if I was in charge it would be hell on earth. It would be laying down carpet. Carpet bombing that is! It drives me into an outrage when I hear that countries are harboring mas murders like Bin Laden and they don't pay any price for it. I am sick and tired of these foreign countries turning a blind eye to these filthy rotten murderous bastards. Let's start making them accountable with a few Tomahawk missiles.

2. After Bin Laden's body was identified as the genuine article, our country took pain staking efforts to give him a proper Muslim burial. No country would take the carcass of this sand rat so they took him aboard a ship and gave him a burial at sea. WHAT! WHAT! ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME! This bastard murdered thousands of people in multiple countries without giving THEM a proper burial. Many of the people that died on 911 did not have a chance at a proper burial thanks to Bin Laden and his henchman. We should have strung this no good murderer up in the middle of Times Square and pelted him with shoes. In case you don't know, one of the biggest humiliations in the Muslim world is to be hit with shoes. Yea, they are all screwed up! After we got all our frustrations out on his rotting corpse, we then should have ground him up and made fertilizer out of him to spread on any grass that may be planted by Ground Zero. I know what many of you are going to say, "Don't give the Taliban or Al Qaeda any ammunition for recruitment. Yea, my methods would certainly do that but how sweet it would be. This guy deserved to be drawn and quartered in public.

Well, that's my 2 Gripes on this topic. It is a great day in America. Fly your flags high and be proud to be an American. Lady Liberty is standing a little bit taller today because we finally got that no good bastard! Land of the free and the home of the brave. Let's never forget what these cowards are capable of doing. Keep your eyes open and be vigilant. My guess is that more innocent people may die at the hands of these gutless monkey shit bastards!