Have you ever applied for a passport? I am currently doing that right now and let me tell you it is a pain in the ass! I will be leaving the country for a week in the fall to my family's native country of Ireland. I know some of you hope I was leaving for good but no I will be back. The other night I was filling out the application form for my passport which led me to several mini strokes. The Feds want to know way too much information like where are you going, when are you leaving and when you are coming back. They want to know who your parents are, when they were born and where. They want to see all kinds of I.D. including Drivers License and Birth Certificate. In case you didn't know, you have to go to your local post office to complete the application process which includes a picture and a few checks totaling close to $200.00. When I see or hear the words post office I immediately think of total chaos. Bedlam at its finest. So after filling out all of the paperwork I went to look for my Birth Certificate and guess what? You got it, I couldn't find the damn thing! Of course that threw me into a tirade which included the tossing of things across the room and a soliloquy of vulgarity which would have burned the ear drums of many a virgin. After my wonderful and patient wife settled me down we went online to apply for a new birth certificate. There I came across one of the most idiotic application questions that I have ever seen. The question was, "What street have you not lived on"? Yes, this is no typo! You read it right! What street have you not lived on? The online application then lists about 5 streets and you have to correctly pick the one street you have never lived on. As dumb as that question is, it sounds like an easy one right? I thought there is no way you can get this one wrong unless you were held up somewhere on a bender and can't remember where you were for a year or two. Wrong-O Beaver Breath! My list had 2 streets that I had never lived on! The streets were Fort St and Ramada Parkway. I hadn't lived on either one of these streets to my knowledge! My entire body immediately froze in terror! I thought if I get this one wrong I will not be able to get my Birth Certificate which means I won't get my passport and in turn will not be able to take my vacation abroad. Which one should I choose? Which one is correct in the minds of our federal government? I had a 50/50 shot at this one. This was like the coin flip at the Super Bowl. I sat back to think for a few minutes and then picked the only street I did not know. My choice was Ramada Parkway. To my total dismay, I actually got it right! My Birth Certificate has been processed and is on the way. The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. I guess what it all comes down to is the filthy, murdering terrorists from 911 have changed everything. You now have to jump through hoops especially when you are leaving and returning to this great country of ours. As much as I want to Gripe the process and tear it apart, deep down I know that it is for our own safety. What ticks me off the most is because of a few scum bag, low down, stinking lovers of Allah, We The People take it where the sun don't shine for our own good.
Have you ever applied for a passport? I am currently doing that right now and let me tell you it is a pain in the ass! I will be leaving the country for a week in the fall to my family's native country of Ireland. I know some of you hope I was leaving for good but no I will be back. The other night I was filling out the application form for my passport which led me to several mini strokes. The Feds want to know way too much information like where are you going, when are you leaving and when you are coming back. They want to know who your parents are, when they were born and where. They want to see all kinds of I.D. including Drivers License and Birth Certificate. In case you didn't know, you have to go to your local post office to complete the application process which includes a picture and a few checks totaling close to $200.00. When I see or hear the words post office I immediately think of total chaos. Bedlam at its finest. So after filling out all of the paperwork I went to look for my Birth Certificate and guess what? You got it, I couldn't find the damn thing! Of course that threw me into a tirade which included the tossing of things across the room and a soliloquy of vulgarity which would have burned the ear drums of many a virgin. After my wonderful and patient wife settled me down we went online to apply for a new birth certificate. There I came across one of the most idiotic application questions that I have ever seen. The question was, "What street have you not lived on"? Yes, this is no typo! You read it right! What street have you not lived on? The online application then lists about 5 streets and you have to correctly pick the one street you have never lived on. As dumb as that question is, it sounds like an easy one right? I thought there is no way you can get this one wrong unless you were held up somewhere on a bender and can't remember where you were for a year or two. Wrong-O Beaver Breath! My list had 2 streets that I had never lived on! The streets were Fort St and Ramada Parkway. I hadn't lived on either one of these streets to my knowledge! My entire body immediately froze in terror! I thought if I get this one wrong I will not be able to get my Birth Certificate which means I won't get my passport and in turn will not be able to take my vacation abroad. Which one should I choose? Which one is correct in the minds of our federal government? I had a 50/50 shot at this one. This was like the coin flip at the Super Bowl. I sat back to think for a few minutes and then picked the only street I did not know. My choice was Ramada Parkway. To my total dismay, I actually got it right! My Birth Certificate has been processed and is on the way. The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. I guess what it all comes down to is the filthy, murdering terrorists from 911 have changed everything. You now have to jump through hoops especially when you are leaving and returning to this great country of ours. As much as I want to Gripe the process and tear it apart, deep down I know that it is for our own safety. What ticks me off the most is because of a few scum bag, low down, stinking lovers of Allah, We The People take it where the sun don't shine for our own good.
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