Death By Dangling - The 38DD Killer

Franziska Hansen

Every so often when I am doing research on a topic that is really ticking me off I run across a story that makes me smile.  Well, I ran across this one that made me grin from ear to ear.  This one actually came from yourjewishnews.com.
 

A man claims he was nearly killed after his girlfriend choked him with her over sized chest, according to court proceedings.  A high-flying lawyer fled in terror naked after his girlfriend used her 38DDs in an attempt to kill him, a German court has heard.  Tim Schmidt, 30, said his girlfriend, Franziska Hansen, 33, mounted her assault while they were having sex because she was jealous of his successful career.  She denies the charge of attempted murder with a deadly weapon after the incident in the city of Unna in May. According to her, it was a sex game gone wrong and Schmidt panicked.  He told the court he was admiring her large chest closely when she suddenly stuck his head between her chest and squeezed hard. Schmidt was smothered and began to panic as he struggled to breathe, the court heard. 

Schmidt told the court: "I was sitting there and I was kissing her chest when suddenly she grabbed my head in pushed it between her chest and held my head with all her might. I could not breathe, I must have turned blue. I could not tear myself free and thought I was going to die."  He managed to pull free from the clutches of his girlfriend and run naked into the street. A neighbor allowed him to call the police from his home.  Hansen later admitted the plot during a phone conversation, he said. She said: "Treasure. I wanted your death to be as pleasant as possible."

A murder caught on film.

Every ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME!  She actually tried to kill the guy with her 38DD's!  I have to say, if there was a way to go, this would be it.  From what I hear, the IBA (International Boob Association) has come forward with a statement against the banning of any breasts bigger than a 36C.  Seymour Areola, the President of the IBA released a statement that said, "The only way to fight against cannons of this caliber is with more cannons of this caliber".  In a counter statement, Tina Samlley-Tatas the founder of The Organization Against Malicious Melons said that these large caliber weapons should not be allowed on the streets.  There is no reason for anyone to own a set of 38DD's.  "If its more than a mouthful it's a waste".  Governments from around the globe will be gathering in Zurich, Switzerland next month to take a hard look at this topic along with the effects of global warming on the hairless beaver.