Top 10 Crazy Stories of 2012

The year of 2012 brought us many news stories such as the killing of Osama Bin Laden, the re-election of Barack Obama, the Fiscal Cliff and Superstorm Sandy.  The Mayan Apocalypse came and went without the world ending in a storm of fire and brimstone.  However, here are several stories that you may have missed on the news over the past year.  Here are the R2G's Top 10 Crazy Stories of 2012.

Pauline Potter

 No. 10: World's Heaviest Woman's Sex Diet:  Pauline Potter (no relation to Harry Potter) tipped the scales as the world's heaviest woman in 2011 at an eye-popping 643 pounds. In July, she told reporters that she had lost 98 pounds through marathon sex sessions with her ex-husband.  This diet is a lot more sensible than the one practiced by Donna Simpson, one of Pauline's rival fat ladies. She wrote in the Huffington Post in 2011 that she had smoked crack in a desperate attempt to drop some tonnage.  Guys, here is proof positive that the line of the more sex we have the thinner she will get is for real!

No. 9: Testicle-Eating Fish Spotted in Illinois:  Nothing got guys crossing their legs, cupping their crotches and wincing like this story. The pacu, a toothy fish that can weigh up to 55 pounds was spotted in Lake Lou Yaeger in Illinois in June. Pacus are native to the Amazon Basin. They generally eat nuts, snails and aquatic vegetation. But when they come into human contact, they've been known to bite off the testicles of fishermen and swimmers.  It is true that these fish like to feast on nuts.

Monica and Jessica

No. 8: Mother-Daughter Porn Duo:  As, Jessica and her daughter, Monica, see it, they have a family business. They're porn stars who act together as an adult film industry duo known as "The Sexxtons." Of course, they don't give out their last names. Being unconvinced they were really family (we don't automatically believe everything a naked actress tells us), they provided documentation and a decade of family photos. This is, experts tell us, a porn industry first. Jessica and Monica insist what they do is not incest.  They'll make love on camera with the same man but just won't touch each other while they're doing it. After all, they have standards.  Boy am I glad they have some standards?

No. 7: Octomom vs Tanning Mom:  With Casey Anthony in hiding most of the year, it was hard for the R2G to pick our "Mother of the Year."  In one corner, we have Nadya "The Octomom" Suleman, who turned porn star after being banned from celebrity boxing.  In the other corner, we have newcomer Patricia "Tanning Mom" Krentcil. This New Jersey mom was accused of second-degree child endangerment when her 5-year-old daughter showed up at school with a sunburn thought to be caused by Krentcil taking her to a tanning salon. We thought these two should just fight it out for honors.  Who the hell gets banned from celebrity boxing?

No. 6: Squid Inseminates Woman's Tongue:  A woman in Seoul, Korea was eating semi-boiled squid in June when the cephalopod injected its sperm bag into her tongue.  The unidentified woman reportedly experienced a "pricking and foreign-body sensation" while she chewed and spat the squid out.  Doctors found that the squid had left "twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms" in the mucous membranes of her tongue and cheek   These squid kids were removed from the woman's tongue and all is fine.  It goes to show you that you should boil your squid completely before you eat it.  Boy could I take off with this story!

No. 5: Anal Tattoos:  A lot of us have tattoos that aren't in plain sight, and so does this woman, who was said to be on the cutting edge of the next big trend, anal tattoos.  You read that right, anal tattoos!  WHAT!  WHAT!  ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!  That was the buzz in August at the 17th annual South Florida Tattoo Expo. The woman shown here said the procedure felt "really, really good."  I have several questions here with the first being what is her phone number?

No. 4: Bubble Skin Man:  When Chandra Wisnu married his wife Nanik more than three decades ago, he was young, good looking, well-educated and born into into a well-to-do family. After the wedding, he wasn't so lucky. A rare abnormality in his nervous system transformed him.  Wisnu has spent the last 25 years trying to find a cure for the bizarre condition that caused bubble-like tumors to erupt on his body.  Now, at last,he may have found the cause, thanks to Maryland-based dermatologist Anthony Gaspari, and while no cure exists, he may be able to improve his quality of life.  The diagnosis: an extreme case of Neurofibromatosis type I (NF-1), a tumor disorder that is caused by a gene malfunction and causes non-cancerous lumps. The disease is genetic and affects up to one in 2500 people. Joseph "John" Merrick, better known as the "Elephant Man," was said to have suffered from this condition.
 

No. 3: Jonah vs. TSA:  After appearing in a 1999 HBO documentary, Jonah Falcon has had the distinction of having the longest penis ever measured on camera. The distinction hasn't brought him wealth or even a steady income. But it has made him an Internet sensation. And when TSA agents at San Francisco International Airport asked about that protuberance in his pants, comedy ensued.  I can hear airport security now.  "Sir, is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me."  I would guess that Jonah has no idea what the internet is or he would be a millionaire by now.

 No. 2: Virgin Auction:  What's the price of innocence? In the case of Catarina Migliorini, it was exactly $780,000. That's how much this 20-year-old Brazilian woman received in an Internet auction for her virginity. She initially claimed she was donating proceeds to the poor in her country, and didn't consider the stunt an act of prostitution. A Brazilian prosecutor eventually said he was considering the possibility of criminal charges for people involved in this enterprise.

And finally, the number 1 crazy story of 2012.  Drum roll please..... 

No. 1: Cook Serves Own Genitals:  Japanese chef Mao Sugiyama, a self-described "asexual" from Tokyo, cooked and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky $250-a-plate banquet in May. Sugiyama's penis shaft, testes and scrotum were garnished with button mushrooms and Italian parsley.  What the hell, did he just chop them off in the kitchen, toss them in a pan and fry them up?  Now this guy should be an Iron Chef!

There you have it, the R2G's Top 10 Crazy Stories for 2012.