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| The Gator Boys |
I have to tell you, every night as I sit and scroll through the multitude of worthless channels on TV and wonder what the hell am I doing. As I flip through the listing, I have noticed a disturbing trend in the shows. I have noticed that hillbillies are the new craze. Yes, hillbillies! There is Hillbilly Handfishing, Swamp People, Hillbilly Blood, Swamp People, Call of the Wildman, Lizard Lick Towing, Redneck Island, Honey Boo Boo and the ever so popular Duck Dynasty. Why this show is so popular I do not know. In fact all of these make me sick. I just can't wrap my head around why they are so popular. I think it's the fact that a bunch of slack jawed country bumpkins run around looking like total idiots and doing things that no normal human being would think of doing. For example, the Swamp People fly around in boats deep into the swamps to wrestle and catch alligators. No way cousin Verne, I'm not doing that. You also have that toothless moron Ernie "The Turtleman" Brown Jr diving into muddy ponds to scoop out large snapping turtles with his bare hands. He also catches Raccoons, gators, woodchucks and the every popular skunk. Both barrels, Bam! Bam! Yep, he has taken more than one skunk bath.
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| Hollywood Hillbillies |
New to the prime time lineup of hillbilly shows this season will be Hollywood Hillbillies. This family of low brow in breads move to Hollywood to experience the life style of the rich and famous. It appears that their exploits will rival only a kid hitting the gifts under the Christmas. In the previews, the grandmother Delores Hughes, other wise known as Mema actually goes to a hair salon to get a makeover. I wonder why the EPA was present? Does this shtick sound familiar? It should. It is an updated version of our old favorite The Beverley Hillbillies. Instead, these mud puppies from rural Georgia go to Hollywood where they appal everyone they encounter with their backwoods ignorance. It may actually be a riot to watch this one.
The question here though is why are these shows so popular? I myself cannot imagine other than the thrill that viewers get watching these mental midgets plow their way through life oblivious to the real world that exists around them. Once they hit intelligent society, they cease to function so they revert back to their caveman existence. What irritates me the most is the fact that these bumpkins are going to make a boat load of money on their Hillbilly Hijinks's. Why didn't I think of this first? I think my next move will be to direct and produce a show called The Coalbillies of Plymouth. This too would be a classic example of toothless, ill dressed. English language butchers roaming Main Street on foot or in their beat up 1978 pick up trucks. Of course the trucks will be painted in primer black. I think this would be a hit! Could you imaging two big toothless women in tight tank tops fist fighting down on Main Street by the old Red Subs. Classic I tell you, CLASSIC!
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