The mailman came the other day and to my surprise he delivered the big Victoria Secret Holiday Catalog. Notice I said mailman, not mail person. I say the hell with all of that politically correct crap. Anyway, when I saw the monster book in my mailbox I was excited to see the contents inside. This was kid in a candy store excitement. We get V.S. catalogs delivered just about every day, but this is the mega eye popper of the year! Much to my surprise or should I say dismay, there was very little lingerie for sale in this catalog. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME! Isn't that what Victoria Secret is known for? Instead, I found a bounty of regular overpriced clothes, shoes and pajamas along with more types of bras than the law allows. I didn't know they could make so many different bras! They must have had 50+ different jug holders for women to buy. Of course, they were all way over priced. I saw boob parachutes for $50.00, $60.00 and even $70.00. I couldn't believe my eyes! Why do they cost so much? Hell, you can go to WalMart and get 3 knob holders for $10.00. I am not a woman, so I just don't get it.
As I carefully perused through the big catalog, I came across the gift of a lifetime. Wait until you hear this. No it was not a Victoria Secret model. It was a bra. Yes, a bra and it was not any ordinary bra. Now in case you don't know and most guys don't, there are many different types of bras. I had to put countless hours of research into this so listen up. There are push ups, full coverage, demi cup, multi-way, strapless, wireless, t-shirt, unlined, shape wear and sports bras. There is subtle lift, moderate lift, dramatic lift, extreme lift and maximum lift bras. How the hell do women decide? All of this sounds like a gym workout routine. Anyway, this bra that I saw was magnificent! It was the 2011 Victoria Secret Fantasy Bra. The price tag on this beauty is $2,500,000.00. Yes, you read that right! This pap tent is made with 142 carats of white and yellow diamonds, pearls, citrines and aquamarines set in 18-karat white and yellow gold. Two 8-karat white diamonds adorn the center of the bra, along with two 14-karat yellow diamonds. WHAT? WHAT? ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME! Who the hell is going to buy that? Who the hell would wear it? I wonder if they would mail it out or do you have to pick it up? This is ridiculous. I guess it's called a Fantasy Bra for a reason. So ladies, when you sit on Santa's lap this year, there are only two words you will need to whisper into his ear....FANTASY BRA.
The mailman came the other day and to my surprise he delivered the big Victoria Secret Holiday Catalog. Notice I said mailman, not mail person. I say the hell with all of that politically correct crap. Anyway, when I saw the monster book in my mailbox I was excited to see the contents inside. This was kid in a candy store excitement. We get V.S. catalogs delivered just about every day, but this is the mega eye popper of the year! Much to my surprise or should I say dismay, there was very little lingerie for sale in this catalog. ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME! Isn't that what Victoria Secret is known for? Instead, I found a bounty of regular overpriced clothes, shoes and pajamas along with more types of bras than the law allows. I didn't know they could make so many different bras! They must have had 50+ different jug holders for women to buy. Of course, they were all way over priced. I saw boob parachutes for $50.00, $60.00 and even $70.00. I couldn't believe my eyes! Why do they cost so much? Hell, you can go to WalMart and get 3 knob holders for $10.00. I am not a woman, so I just don't get it.
As I carefully perused through the big catalog, I came across the gift of a lifetime. Wait until you hear this. No it was not a Victoria Secret model. It was a bra. Yes, a bra and it was not any ordinary bra. Now in case you don't know and most guys don't, there are many different types of bras. I had to put countless hours of research into this so listen up. There are push ups, full coverage, demi cup, multi-way, strapless, wireless, t-shirt, unlined, shape wear and sports bras. There is subtle lift, moderate lift, dramatic lift, extreme lift and maximum lift bras. How the hell do women decide? All of this sounds like a gym workout routine. Anyway, this bra that I saw was magnificent! It was the 2011 Victoria Secret Fantasy Bra. The price tag on this beauty is $2,500,000.00. Yes, you read that right! This pap tent is made with 142 carats of white and yellow diamonds, pearls, citrines and aquamarines set in 18-karat white and yellow gold. Two 8-karat white diamonds adorn the center of the bra, along with two 14-karat yellow diamonds. WHAT? WHAT? ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME! Who the hell is going to buy that? Who the hell would wear it? I wonder if they would mail it out or do you have to pick it up? This is ridiculous. I guess it's called a Fantasy Bra for a reason. So ladies, when you sit on Santa's lap this year, there are only two words you will need to whisper into his ear....FANTASY BRA.
this is beautiful ! there are several other boulder holders as well, the shelf bra and not to forget the nippleless bra. thanks i needed to laugh.
ReplyDeleteDear Santa,
ReplyDeleteJust give me the 2.5 million and keep the bra!!
Great gripe. I would love know how many orders they get for that bra...
boulder holders...lol...
ReplyDelete